if you are here, you must be lost!!

The sky looks bruised today.
The yard is a smattering of winter-gold and fresh spring-green.
The Bartlett Pears are blooming
And the other deciduous trees are budding out new leaves.
Herbs are poking their fresh faces out from beneath the soil in which they have hidden for months.
At night, the air is alive with the peepers and the calls of the whippoorwill.
The crickets are starting to return as well.
The dandelions and daffodils peek their yellow heads out,
Nodding in the breeze.
Carefully cultivated pansies make their appearance, as well.

I breathe in deeply, filling my body with the scents and sounds of Spring.
New life is starting, stirring all around me.
And I can't help but join it.
I can't help but smile and laugh and dream of tomorrow while enjoying today.

I'm glad to meet you/I'm sorry to hear that your love shot through/But you'll get by, you always do/You'll find someone who will wait with you/I'm glad that you came my way/Though you were only passing another day/And it's no crime, just passing time/Waiting for some big bad man to come back for you/Maybe you're an angel with enough room in your heart for everyone/Maybe you are only a fire for the lonely sun/Maybe you're an angel with enough room in your heart for everyone/Maybe you are only a fire for the lonely sun/You'll get by, you always do/You'll find someone who will wait with you/I'm glad to meet you/Precious and the sweet you/You don't give up and you don't know how/There is no regrets in your here and now/Maybe you're an angel with enough room in your heart for everyone/Maybe you are only a fire for the lonely sun/Yeah, maybe you're an angel with enough room in your heart for everyone/Maybe you are only a fire for the lonely sun/And you'll get by, you always do/You'll find someone who will wait with you/Maybe you're an angel with enough room in your heart for everyone/Maybe you're an angel with enough room in your heart for everyone/Maybe you are only a fire for some cold and lonely sun--"You'll get by" by Paddy Casey

A poem for my Fibromyalgia

Pain, twisting and burning, crawling and stabbing, moving throughout my body.
It settles into my joints, and the muscles surrounding them, every movement becomes a tribulation.
Trying to stand, trying to crawl out of bed is like trying to climb a glass mountain naked,
With shattered glass constantly digging into my flesh, and constantly stumbling and falling.
Just because you can't see the blood and bruises, doesn't mean that I don't really feel them.
My knuckles, knees, elbows, and ankles are swollen.
My muscles ache with every movement.
I can't keep warm, I can't shake a headache, it's hard for me to connect my thoughts.
Some days, even the effort of breathing is too much--it hurts, it's hard to do, and sometimes I forget and stop.
Then, I suddenly start gasping and coughing, wheezing to full my lungs.
They say that this is impossible, that your body always breathes, and it won't stop unless you concentrate to make it--
Yeah, right.  Tell that to my lungs.  I wish they'd listen to you.
My muscles spasm uncontrollably.  It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't already scream at me in pain--
The twitches and spasms make it so much worse.
When my diaphram spasms, I get the most awful hiccups.
If I don't do everything in my power to control them and make them stop, my ribs pop out of place.
When this happens, it feels like I'm being ripped apart from the inside;
Imagine the moment when you're carving a turkey and you crack the ribs--
Now imagine that those ribs are yours, and you can feel it--
That's what it feels like.
When that happens, my breathing is laboured, I can't stand up straight, and tears come unbidden from the overwhelming pain.
Of course, tears are a regular part of my life.  I am constantly squeezing them out.
I often don't even notice that I'm crying from the pain until the tear is halfway down my cheek, and starts to chill.
Some days, I can't even be touched--everything that touches my skin hurts me,
My love's fingers feel like they are ripping my skin off when he brushes me with them,
His beard stabs me and scratches me, causing waves of pain.
Wearing lace is impossible, wool is unthinkable.
Eating is a chore.  It is even sometimes painful.
I can feel the food inside me, moving down into the pit of my stomach.
I can feel it being broken down and passing into my intestines.
If sometimes is too hot or too cold, I can feel it changing the temperature of my stomach,
And it is incredibly uncomfortable and painful.
I love popsicles.  I hate eating them, though.
I can feel every individual disc in my back.
They are each surrounded in a little blob of pain.
My tailbone, which I broke when I was 9, aches painfully almost every day.
I am constantly shifting around, as no position is comfortable for more than a few minutes.
I even shuffle my feet constantly while standing, and rock back and forth.
Sometimes it escalates from discomfort to pain to intense dizziness.
I am constantly catching myself on doorjams, keeping my body from giving out and falling.
I try to find joy and comfort in every aspect of life.
I try to keep my chin up and my pain down.
I try to be a ray of sunshine for others, and am very skilled at hiding my pain and discomfort.
I sometimes fail miserably.  Today is one of those times.
I wish I could have hugs to make me feel better, but I know they would hurt.
So I count my blessings, and snuggle under a blanket, waiting for a wonder-drug to make it better.
I hug my bunny, and kiss my hunny, and wait for the pain to pass.
Because all things must pass, a light is shining in the future, keeping your head up is the only way to make it through.

Chinese Zodiac

The Ox/buffalo is the hard working, serious loner of the family whose essence is "endurance." The opinionated Ox is determined, strong, and conservative, with a notable gift for manual dexterity and working with their hands. Family and duty are of the utmost importance to the home-spun Ox. Souls born under this 2nd sign of the zodiac are capable of leading nations, not to mention running a most efficient household. Oxen are powerful individuals with stubborn, reliable personalities. Whether at home or at work these souls need to be captain of their ship and are dependable, honest, and stable. The quiet, yet firm Ox is easy-going, but possesses intense passion beneath their calm exterior. The industrious Ox needs a partner of substance and loyalty. Oxen gather strength during the quiet post-midnight hours they rule, between 1:00am - 3:00am.

The nature of Wood is to expand. Wood symbolizes imagination, creativity, and idealism. Its moderate nature is devoted to goodwill, charm and beauty. People born under this element possess high moral ethics; and show exceptional self-confidence. Wood natives understand the value of things and their interests are expansive and eclectic. The expansive nature of Wood, (Much as the great Sequoia tree in the northwest) brings cooperation and an ability to do things on a grand scale. Progressive thinking and generosity allow those influenced by the Wood element to develop large projects and leadership ventures. The proclivity of Wood is to move upward and outward, and to penetrate through. The Wood element brings authority, compassion and natural presence to each of the signs. Wood's physical organs are the Liver and gallbladder; it's flavor is acidic/tart. Wood's color is Green and corresponds to the season of Spring and wind.

Celtic Zodiac

The Willow symbolizes the female and rhythms of the circle. This tree was sacred to the Moon and, in Celtic lore, the Universe was hatched from two crimson serpent eggs (which contained the Sun and the Earth) hidden among the boughs of the Willow. Hens' eggs were later substituted for those of the serpent and symbolically eaten as part of the Beltane feasting. This ritual was eventually transferred to the celebration of Easter in the Christian calendar with the eggs becoming Easter eggs. Staves cut from this tree were often used for fencing, roofing house and lunar wands. Along with Sandalwood, Willow bark aided in the conjuring of spirits forth from the Otherword. It was also said to help soothe those who felt bitter or jealous and proved to be an effective medicine in the cure of worms and dysentery. Both Willow bark (containing Salicin) and the Primrose (the plant associated with the Willow) were once used as analgesics, particularly in the treatment of arthritic diseases. Pregnant women would lay cloths beneath the tree in order to catch the leaves, which were believed to assure an easy birthing process. Always known as a "tree of enchantment," the Willow is reported to have bestowed the mystic gift of eloquence upon Orpheus when he visited the sacred grove of Persephone at the Temple of Delphi in Greece. The Celts associated the Willow with poets and young suitors would commonly wear a sprig of Willow to acknowledge the power and status of the old "wise one" (the Cailleach of Celtic myth who was the Crone aspect of the triple goddess and to whom this tree was sacred). The words "Witchcraft" and "Wicca" are both derived from the word "Willow." The Willow was also host to the sacred Mistletoe of the Druids, which was often more commonly found growing on the Willow and the Poplar than it was on even the mighty Oak. This tree was once referred to as "Witches Aspirin," probably not only for its reputation in resolving dilemmas, but also for its headache-relieving properties. In the past, some cultures have been known to "Wear the Green Willow" in order that others might be aware they were going through a period of mourning and Druidical sacrifices were customarily offered in Willow-wicker baskets. It was once said that if someone felt an overwhelming need to confess, the secret could be shared with a Willow and be forever trapped. Its wood was often used for planing and lining burial graves due to its associated symbolism with death and protection.

There are at least 500 species of Willow...from tall trees to Arctic plants barely two inches tall. The European Willow, found in central and Southern Europe, is also known as the White Willow because of its greyish bark. The American variety is called the Black Willow due to its black-colored bark. Together with Poplars and Alders, this tree is usually found growing beside streams and lowland rivers, with a preference for damp and boggy areas. Its spreading branches, which reach toward the source of water, create a full shape and its leaves are long and slender, covered with silver hairs that give the entire tree a "shimmering" appearance. Willows can reach 80 feet in height and sprout vigorously from stumps. Its flowers are tiny and bear no petals. It is an imposing tree with a thick trunk and heavily-ridged bark. The Willow's catkins, which appear in early Spring prior to the appearance of leaves, attracts bees to begin the cycle of pollination.

There are two distinct types of Willow individuals (a division which relates to all Celtic Tree Signs). The "new moon" character is associated with the first two weeks of a sign and the "full moon" character is associated with the last two weeks.

The "new moon" Willow individual tends to more inclined to sudden mood changes and displays more unreliable character traits. These people are however receptive to change and quick to take advantage of any opportunity which presents itself. The "full moon" Willow individual tends to disregard advice, even though his or her own reasoning power often lacks credibility. The "full moon" Willow is, however, the most resourceful of the two types and is blessed with an even more exceptional memory than his or her "new moon" counterpart.

In general, Willow individuals are basically articulate, strong-willed, resourceful and possessed with excellent memories. They touch upon all aspects of nature and its association with the Moon. Emotional and enigmatic, Willow people respond quickly to situations but are prone to sudden mood changes, which can make them difficult to get to know. Being shrewd and practical, they can be brilliant inventors but are also drawn to the unexplained mysteries of life. As a friend, the Willow individual can be a powerful ally...on the other hand, he or she can make for a formidable enemy. Willows have a type of passive tenacity and can be extraordinarily wise counselors and extremely nurturing parents who are protective of loved ones. The Willow person is often reluctant to forgive and forget, which can lead to permanent rifts with friends and family. In the work force, Willows are usually employed in very responsible positions but find it hard to settle upon a definitive career. If the career choice should be in the field of education, however, they are counted among the best teachers. Willow individuals seldom express a controversial opinion in public (which makes them appear very amiable) but privately, their views are usually strong one way or the other. They are possessed with an overactive imagination and tend to fret needlessly about health matters. The Willow has a deep interest in family loyalty and history and usually becomes the family genealogist. The figure of the mother tends to dominate and influence the Willow throughout his or her life but once, married, there is no more devoted individual when it comes to the spouse and children.

The lunar energy of Willow people can be positively channeled into the arts, but it can also suddenly activate latent creative skills that may appear to change the personality. For the most part, Willows are incredibly difficult to get to know due to the type of "veil" over their personalities which hides a great deal. Their sense of humor is not always easy to define and tends to "come and go" depending upon the occasion. Blessed with a potential wisdom that makes them wise advisors, they are usually valued members of society. Willow individuals usually marry at a young age and close personal relationships are of the utmost importance. With the correct partner, Willow individuals create a powerful bond that tends to strike an affinity between the sexes. Willows must learn how to trust their inner voice or they can become moody and chronically indecisive. Since the Moon has always been associated with those who can influence the public with the force of their personality...either good or bad...the Willow individual is usually one to be reckoned with.

There will be some Willow individuals who fail to fit the character pictures described above. These are, in every sense, the great magicians of the world. Appearing on the surface to be the most conventional of human beings, he or she will be experiencing an incredible inner life or imagination. However, there will be a time when this hidden potential suddenly bursts forth. It may take the form of writing to public figures or perhaps adopting a personal political role to address the rights and wrongs of a particular issue. Then again, there will be periods when such personal motiviation ceases as suddenly as it began and the intuitive nature of such a Willow individual appears to crave a complete break from the routine rigors of daily life.

Physical Goal: To encourage a comfortable relationship with the material world, which is full of lessons and cycles of changing values. Change is paramount for growth...and values are no exception.

Mental Goal: To gain understanding of a particular concept...a steady accumulation of facts is the foundation of understanindg. Not everything may be learned in one lesson...the key is repetition.

Spiritual Goal: To learn that there must be periods of rest rather than continual activity.

Amergin Verse: "I am a Hawk on a Cliff"

Ogham Association: Saille

Polarity: Feminine

Color: Known only to be "bright"

Class: Peasant

Letter Character: "S"

Month: February...the fourth month in the Celtic Ogham. A time for purification and cleansing of the old while making way for the birth of the new season. Its name is said to have derived from the Latin Februarius, which means "to purify." Alternatively, it may have come from the Roman Goddess Februa, who is also known as June Februa, or from the God Februs who was later identified with the Roman God Pluto. According to legend, Romulus (founder of Rome) did not include this, the shortest month of the year, when he created the first Roman calendar, which contained only ten months.

Alias: "Witches' Moon" and "Moon of Balance"

Magickal Properties: Romantic Love, Healing, Protection, Fertility and Female Magick

Some Famous Willow People: Charlotte Bronte, George Clooney, Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, Conan O'Brien, Jerry Seinfeld, William Shakespeare, Uma Thurman and Leonardo da Vinci

Greek Zodiac

Aries
Your element: Fire
Your ruling planets: Mars
Symbol: The Ram
Your stone: Ruby
Life Pursuit: The thrill of the moment
Vibration: Enthusiastic
Aries Secret Desire: To lead the way for others.

Description:
Aries are fire signs and those born under this element are regarded in astrology as adventurous, active and outgoing. It won't matter where you go or how remote or unusual it is - from the Outback to the Antarctic - you can be sure that an Aries has been there before you (or at the very least you will meet one along the way!) Aries is a uniquely naive sign. Although they are independent, outgoing and assertive they are also surprisingly trusting, often innocently walking into the lion's den at times. No matter what upheaval, challenge or triumph they confront - an Aries has a wonderful ability to bounce back. Their faith in life and the future remains untouched by hardship. Their gift is that they are always children at heart and the world is always a magical place for them. Many famous sports people are born under this sign. Aries is regarded as the most physical sign and because of its Mar's rulership; it is also one of the most highly charged masculine energy signs in astrology. No wonder women born under Aries are forceful, dynamic and aggressive, and as a result these Aries women frequently find themselves with dilemmas surrounding their romantic relationships. For them, a man has to be a 'real man' to deal with an Aries woman, otherwise she intimidates him. And conversely for the Aries male, a woman has to be a real woman to deal with him, because he is looking for many balancing component traits (his true feminine side) in his partner. She has to run the gamut in his support system, from the Aries man's best friend, true companion, through to his muse, and yet she must never ever answer him back!

Therefore Aries can be a confusing sign because there is a complex combination of very strong masculine and feminine expressions all combined together. Because of the male energy surrounding it, when a woman is born under Aries, it creates some of the most interesting women in the world, women who are adventurous, independent and have competitive natures. It also tends to make them very forthright.

But whether male or female, Aries people are 'doers' rather than 'talkers'. They are the impulsive, act first, ask questions or have doubts later, sign of the zodiac. That's why their lives are often filled with many dramas and sometimes even accidents! Their ability to live life close to the edge provides them with a wealth of 'real experience' to call upon. When an Aries person talks about something or somewhere they've usually done it or been there, rather than simply read about it in a book. Being active people Aries can't adapt to any kind of restriction, particularly possessive relationships. They often travel to escape any feelings of being stuck or possessed. Aries people love challenges. In fact, if everything is running smoothly, they are quite capable of going out and doing something (sometimes quite foolish) to rock the boat. Aries love to race in where angels fear to tread.


Mayan Zodiac

Birth total:  244
Number:  10--"Lahun" Planetary-"Manifest it"
Glyph:  Kan--"Seed"--South/Yellow - Instinct/Physical - root chakra; fire. Interested in leadership and performance. Active, dynamic and sexual. Influential, with high standards.
Direction:  South-Yellow-Invisions
Portal or Core:  Neither
Guide:  Eb--"Human"--South/Yellow - Emotional/Physic; heart chakra; Fire. Relaxed, courteous, careful and useful. Also sensitive, touchy and easily hurt. Ambitious and hard-working.
Supporter:  Men--"Eagle"--West/Blue - Emotional/Physic; crown chakra; Earth. Independent, ambitious and escapist. Scientific, Technical, critical, exacting. Has unique ideas about life.
Activator:  Ix--"Wizard"--North/White - Emotional/Physic; root chakra; Air. Secretive, sensitive, intelligent, psychic. Concerned with spirituality. Aggressive but avoids direct confrontations.
Surprises:  Caban--"Earth"--East/Red - Spiritual/Universal heart; heart chakra; Water. Mentally active, rationalizing, clever, practical. Liberal, progressive, controversial. Strong convictions.

Well, my parents are still stuck legally about the whole adoption thing, although they have a lot of folks on their side fighting for them.  My Mom is losing sleep and whatnot over this drama.  My heart goes out to here but there's really nothing that I can do to help.  :-(

I'm still working on the wedding planning. I've found some really interesting things that I want, like plantable favors, and maybe organic candy--yum!  We've got most of a menu made.  Still no word on the actual location--it's driving me CRAZY!  Well, in other news, Erin is going to be coming to stay with me for a week!  Yay!!  I hope that she can get in for her first prenatal appointment before the weekend so it can be this coming week!  That would be awesome!

Speaking of doctor's appointments, we had to take Mr. Kiddo to the vet yesterday!  The poor little fuzzbutt has a slight upper respitory infection.  Bunny sneezes are so very cute--if they weren't so worrisome, I would love them.  Here is a little video that I made of him yesterday afternoon playing with a toy and having a cute sneezing fit:

Sorry I haven't been posting lately, we had no internets for a few weeks, then when we got a new ISP and went to turn on the computer, it was dead. *sigh* We have a new computer on the way.

So yeah...  I got a job at GameStop.  It's cool.  I'm still learning the computer system, but I'm definitely getting better and getting more comfortable with it.  As you can imagine, it's always busy.  I could almost think that the US wasn't in the largest recession since the '80s.  One lady bought 650$ worth of gaming accessories and games for her 2 kids today--and she had already gotten them  the console, controllers, etc.  What is wrong with people?  *sigh*  But yeah, it's fun to talk about video games, and get extra discounts, and get out of the house...  And when I get my first pay-day, that will be awesome, too.  It amazes me that minimum wage is 6.55$ now.  Crazy.  I really don't mind getting paid minimum wage, having a job is worth it.  Especially since we only have one vehicle right now, and I just sit at Lee's office and read (or steal his computer when he's not using it, like now) when I'm not at work.  And I really like the people that I'm working with, too.  But yeah...

Lee's mom is driving me crazy about this wedding bullshit.  She's trying to pressure us into having the wedding in Birmingham, at a golf course, or some bullshit.  She thinks I'm being selfish to want to have it "way out here" and that it will make it impossible for most people to come.  *rolls eyes*  I don't even want to go into what she said to me over Thanksgiving.....  I figure, if she doesn't like what we're doing, she doesn't have to come--one less thing to worry about for me.  If I had it my way, we would just go down to the courthouse and skip all this lame hoopla bullshit.  I want to get legal documentation of my commitment to my lover, not but on a bloody circus.  But he wants the circus, so he is now officially in charge of keeping his mother the fuck away from me when it comes to anything wedding- or religion-related.  He is doing at least 50% of the planning and whatnot, because it was his idea, and I don't care if that's not traditional--I am not a traditional kind of girl.  I never obsessed or dreamed about a big fancy wedding, and I'd rather skip it..........  *sigh*  Not to mention the expense of the whole thing.... Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely looking forward to it, seeing all of our friends and family, eating good cake, and getting presents. *wink*  But......  well.......  it's just not really my thing.  I don't understand what all the fuss is about.  Whatever.

But yeah.  So.  Hope you all are well, I'll post real updates when we get our computer set up.  *hugs*

I would like to go on the record to say that I do not like or appreciate the "UndeadJournal" header. It is scary, and I will now be unable to check livejournal at night until they make it go away, or have horrible zombie nightmares. *shudders* I was gonna post all about going to Florence and staying the night so we could go to the ren-faire, but now, this is all you get. Zombies are terrifying, mmkay?

Well, I am running around the house, trying to pick up and get together all the things we'll need to take to Birmingham this weekend. Travelling with a bunny is a lot more complicated than travelling with a cat or dog. We have to make sure we have plenty of chew-toys, litter and litter boxes, treats, fresh veg, pellets, hay, no-chew-spray, and of course, his favorite toy, his football (soccer ball). Then, we need to make sure to get his harness, leash, bunny-purse, and cage. When we get there, we have to put him in a room that we have to bunny-proof and make sure we see him eat before we can leave him alone. IT's complicated, I know. *sigh* But, we love the little booger to death, so we don't really mind. I'm also trying to run around and make sure that we have all of the stuff we need, including masquerade clothes and shoes and jewelry, etc. And, we recently had an outbreak of fruitflies in the house (which the bunny is too sensitive for us to use any kind of spray) so I'm also trying to make sure the whole place is as clean as possible so that there won't be any stupid, gross flies when we get back. Yuck! And, I wanna dye my hair bright-ass red before we go, too. And of course I slept in till 9 instead of getting up at eight like I had planned. And I need to finish laundry stuff and finish getting our clothes and crap packed! I am the queen of procrastination!

But, oh well, I'll get it done--I always do! We are going to visit our dear friends Roy and Jenni tonight! They had a little baby girl a few months ago and we are going to get to meet her for the first time! Jenni is a nurse at UAB, so we will only get to see them for a few hours, as she has a 36-hour shift tomorrow/Sunday. *pout*

Hmmmmm.... What else? ummmmmm..... Lee and I have been together for more than 4 1/2 years now. It's pretty exciting. I still adore him just as much as (if not more than) I did when we first started dating. He is such a wonderful, amazing man! And I'm not just saying that because he's my sugar-daddy, LoL. ;-) He really is wonderful!

But yeah. Thanks for the welcomes back, you guys. And Julia, I use the Fiskars on him, as he will not sit for plucking--he barely puts up with hair-cuts! He just had his first wooling and is due for another one late December to late January. Perhaps I can let it grow the whole time this time (as I had to put him in a puppy-cut in August, the poor, over-heated thing!) I would adore being able to wear something not only that came from him, but also that you made! Maybe a Jayne cap....Hmmmm.... *hugs* Donan, I know what you mean! We'll just have to exchange phone numbers and set something in stone, cause I know Lee wants to see you guys, too! *hugs* And as for you, Sexy Pat and Super-Sexy Andrea, meow! I miss you guys! *hugs*

hi guys. don't kill me for going awol, okay? I've been keeping my journal in myspace this year. it's lame, I know, especially since I've had this livejournal since 2003 or early 2004 or whatever. so, I've made my return to livejournal. maybe it'll help inspire me.

so here's where my life stands right now: I live in Corinth, Mississippi with Lee in our large rental house with our angora bunny, Bebe Kiddo. Lee is happily and gainfully employed with a local company here. I am unemployed. there is nothing really for me to do around here. so, I try to make myself useful with craft projects and whatnot, but lately haven't been doing a very good job. Lee and I both have Facebooks, so if you haven't added us on there, look us up! ummmmmmmmm.......... yeah. my lipring hole never healed up, so I picked up a horseshoe the other day and am happily wearing it. I'm almost done reading "Anansi Boys" by Neil Gaiman. I'm hoping to pick up "The Graveyard Book" while we are in Birmingham this weekend. We are going to the Magick City Pagans' Witches' Ball this Saturday! I'm so excited!

so yeah. I'm alive. I updated. I am making plans to start blogging regularly again.

happy birthday, raoul43duke!!!

hope you have a great one!! 

look what i made for you today, jeff...


so, had a great time with dian and destiny, now i'm just relaxing at the house. then, it's off to wpsa (@ 7) and back to the house to hang around. i put a double shot of orange vodka in my mountain dew earlier....mmmmmm...

got my state refund check already-- woot!!

about to leave for tennessee and a new tooth to replace this crappy, metal-tasting temp cap! yay! which means i'll be able to eat caremel again. yay!

yeah, so, leaving in a few, coming back friday mid-afternoon. see you around, folks.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad, or possibly illegal.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your journal to see what people remember about you.

hey, would anyone be interested in two tickets to see queens of the stoneage and nine inch nails on oct. 27 (thurs) in atlanta?? lee bought them, then found out that his band is doing a show that day and so can't go. with processing fees and everything, they came out to be 50$/each. not trying to scalp them, just want to make the money that he spent on them back.

if not interested in that, that night provides two different activities on campus. lee's band (eristocracy) is playing over by the radio station, and the halloween carnival is over on frat row. not too bad a walk, if you want to see both. (i'll be at the halloween carnival doing tarot readings!!)

this new weather makes me want to walk around on campus at night... hey. also, next thursday (13th), i'm going to be driving on the trace to go get my little brother at the mounds (indian burial mounds). if you don't have anything to do for about four hours (2 there, 2 back) that morning and would like to see prettiness or stop in tupelo, i would love to have someone come with me.

anywho. going to make me and my man breakfast. get back to me on the tickets and the riding if you or someone you know is interested.

myspace confuses me. i don't know how to find my friends and network people. and it's ugly. and wierd and not lj--new things are scary!!! run away from myspace!!! ahhh!!!!!!!!!!111





*pant, pant*

okay, i'm alright. but seriously, i can't do anything on myspace except for look up my highschool people--and i don't like any of those people (except one or two). grrrr....

well, got the dragon statue i wanted. as well as a digicam, a dvd, some crosswords, some other misc. stuff and.....A TRACFONE!!!!!!!!!

now, a very elite few will be able to contact me in case of emergences. because these things are damnedly expensive. anywho. back to the fam-bam.

love you guys. have a great day.

ah. christmas eve. it snowed yesterday and all the night before. all of our roads were frozen. on the stretch of road in front of my house alone (a hill, a dip, and a slope) there were at least ten different car wrecks. we're talking less than a mile stretch, here. i took coffee out to some of the men working on pulling cars out. one of my mom's friends crashed her car right outside 'my' bedroom window. i helped my stepdad pull it out of the ditch this morning. wrapped up the last of the 'santa' presents. baked some pies. made some cookies. i love cooking and wrapping presents, so these are all good things. i get to drink 'santa's' eggnog and eat his cookies tonight. yay! me and mom tricked my little brothers into going to pulaski with my stepdad, so we're watching miracle on 34th street. cheesey, i know. i'm already halfway through the illuminati trilogy. it's so wierd and interesting.

to all of you that believe in christmas, i hope you have a wonderful one. for all of you who don't, i hope you have a wonderful day anyways.

oh yeah. read for a laugh: my newly adopted (as of monday) little brother got his first ass-beating last night. you see, when kids are in the custody of the state, foster parents are not allowed to strike, hit, slap, smack, or pop them. however, when an adoption in finalized, that child becomes like any natural-born child of the parents. therefore, those children can get spankings. and man did he get it. he's a little smart-ass ten year old that thinks that he not only knows everything, but he runs everything, too. (he's got acute narcisstic disorder) and he mouthed off one too many times in one day. you could here the spankings all the way down the hall. not that they beat him or abused him, they just spanked him, just like all kids need once in a while. but dude, if you knew this little kid, you'd be cheering. i know chris-chris will when she reads this. :)

anyways, yeah, peace and goodwill, lol.

so. yesterday was yule. as well as orion_cadet_9's b-day and joey's b-day. it snowed a little the other day. it didn't stick, though. it's raining right now, but it's supposed to turn to ice and snow later.

evan has an lj! that makes me so happy. especially since i haven't seen him in so long!

i have no one to hang out with here. all the fuckers i went to highschool with are married and/or pregnant and/or have kids. all i do is sit around my parents' house going completely nuts. and reading the 'illuminatus trilogy' which i'm sure is contributing to my crazyness.

i talk to lee two or three times a day. last night i broke down crying because as i said before, i'm going crazy. i feel like my parents don't give a shit about me. all they care about anymore is the foster kids and the little boy that they just adopted and my brother's girlfriend's baby. fuck them.

i can't wait for this next week and a half to pass so i can get the hell out of here.

i want to see normal people. i want to have an intelligent conversation. i yearn for someone with a real, working brain with which to sit down and talk. my parents don't understand three-quarters of what i say, my little brother only understands half of what i say. and none of the other kids even think i speak english unless i'm yelling at them. grrr...

i think i'm going to go read some more.

i bid mississippi adeau today. in a couple of minutes, actually. i'm about to head to my mom's. i had a great time last night with scorpio_child and her brother. we went to eat japanese and to 'a series of unfortunate events' i hate jim carey, so i cringed everytime he came on screen, but then i just enjoyed the movie. we ran into several people that i hadn't seen for a while coming out of the theatre. hung out with them at scorpio_child's apt. made people walk me the whole eleven apartments down to mine in the dark at two in the morning. :)

i'm sad about craig, but i think he'll be okay. i miss lee. his phone wasn't on last night, so i didn't get my goonight 'i love you'. lol. seriously, though. i need to get the hell on the road!! love you guys. i hope you all have a happy holiday season. i'm out!!

got my appointment moved to later. so i'm leaving to go to my mom's sooner. it will be nice to kind of not have to worry for a little while. even though i know that my family's going to drive me crazy.

gave some people christmas presents. that was fun. lee left today. that was sad. i'm going to miss him. and i can't call him because our phone doesn't seem to want to charge so i can't use it. :( so i sent him a cingular wireless text message. ah, technology. really tired. about to go to bed, i guess.

love you guys.